a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
