Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
