ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
