I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
