How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
