Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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