She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
