so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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