my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
