Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
