who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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