Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
