like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
