she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
