the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
