dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
