No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think a kid would responsible me up
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
