You're completely useless in the revolution.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
