shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
why is half of my head shaved?
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