I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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