I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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