i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
