I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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