I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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