i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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