life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
