Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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(914): View more from New York

This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow

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(703): View more from Virginia

of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.

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(443): View more from Maryland

The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Can I bother you for a second.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

You always bother me but go on.

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