I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
