He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
