i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
