Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
