I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
