No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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