he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
