stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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