I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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