Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
