She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
