Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
