just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Randomize
