I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He did a backflip because drugs
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