So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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