nutella sex= disaster
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
