You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Buhtt sex?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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