i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
