I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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