I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
