I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Congratulations! We have a period
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