Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
