We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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